Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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