I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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