READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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