Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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