did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
