yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
