No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Who put my cat in the fridge?
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
