I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
