those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
