Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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