He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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