i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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