so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
