i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Randomize
