How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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