The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize
