ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
