What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Everything about him screamed your future.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
