Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
you inspire me to be a worse person
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
