Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Randomize
