This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
