you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
