weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
tell me about the fingering
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