i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
