Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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