It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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