did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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