Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
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