Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
