Yo dont text me then not text me
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
