The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
