I cockslap morals
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Randomize
