My hair reeks of homosexuality.
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
