I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Randomize
