I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
A bitchslap is in order.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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