so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
last night I used snow as a chaser
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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