Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
