Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
