i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I still have a little drunk in my system
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
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