I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
