I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
