Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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