just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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