You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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