Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
