Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
Randomize
