It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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