How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Why is there bacon in the couch?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
