I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
All I want is dick and wine.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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