Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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