I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize