at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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