some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
