Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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