Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
