You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
