Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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