Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
