There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
