Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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