My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
The feeling are messing with the penis
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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